tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14397387.post3436083135252865763..comments2024-02-19T19:45:32.122-05:00Comments on Poet Mom: New PoemJanuaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13036651950996873368noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14397387.post-32994802630519217902011-07-21T08:06:57.891-04:002011-07-21T08:06:57.891-04:00Maureen, you picked out my trouble spots. Not sure...Maureen, you picked out my trouble spots. Not sure about cutting the last stanza (I did consider it), but it definitely is a bit of a let-down after the second and third.<br /><br />Thanks for the feedback and support.Januaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13036651950996873368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14397387.post-14763965277890794932011-07-21T08:05:47.980-04:002011-07-21T08:05:47.980-04:00Thanks Marie. I appreciate the support.Thanks Marie. I appreciate the support.Januaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13036651950996873368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14397387.post-43644627001109057882011-07-20T16:38:48.405-04:002011-07-20T16:38:48.405-04:00Thanks for braving your draft with the world, Janu...Thanks for braving your draft with the world, January! Always happy to read your work. xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14397387.post-76838634232970367282011-07-20T14:51:07.506-04:002011-07-20T14:51:07.506-04:00You might consider ending the poem at the end of y...You might consider ending the poem at the end of your fifth stanza. I like how that would leave the poem open to us to imagine what those "true colors" are and how they'll be shown, and so not give us a conclusion as the sixth stanza does. <br /><br />The "I guess." (second stanza, second line) inserts a tentativeness that seems a little off-voice (in the same way mentioning "our souls" does), given especially the strong second line in the third stanza and the rest of the poem; I like the sassy, back-talking stance of the narrator. But I see also that perhaps that's a feint, to divert from that "hiding behind the light".Maureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13290283101378474845noreply@blogger.com