I am basking in the afterglow of the weekend retreat. My hope is to sit down and write tonight after the kids go to bed. The problem is that I'm so tired at the end of the day, I can barely make it past 9 p.m.
"What a drag it is getting old."
On Saturday morning, I took the first of three workshops with Maria Mazziotti Gillan. She opened her session by talking about a metaphorical creature called The Crow. It sits on your shoulder and reminds you of all your insecurities. Everything, from you're no good as a writer, you have no value, no one will ever want to hear what you have to say, to you're stupid, your parents never loved you, you're too fat ... You name it, The Crow has something to say about it. The Crow also protects The Cave, that place where all your secrets lie--in the pit of your stomach.
For this weekend, Maria gave us permission to knock The Crow off of our shoulders and go down into The Cave to release those terrible stories. It's been a while since I had written pieces that surprised me as much as these did. I was thankful for the experience. "Write first, edit later," I kept telling myself. And it worked. I even wrote a poem about The Crow--one of my best poems from the weekend.
Not ready to post my Crow poem yet because it still feels raw. I have to make a few choices about what to leave in and take out.
Yesterday, I wondered if my power animal is really a crow or a dog. A power animal, as I understand it, an animal spirit that protects and guides you in life (feel free to correct me). So Googling for power animals, I found this description about The Crow:
Yep, my power animal is a Crow.As a Crow, you are analytical, adaptable, and exceedingly clever. You like solving problems, sharing a hearty laugh with friends, and most of all, enjoying a good meal. Your inquisitive, philosophical nature leads you to constantly question authority and the status quo, sometimes just for the sake of asking, "Why?"Best matches: Foxes, Wolves, SwansWatch out for: Wolverines, Bears, Hawks
Will post a poem from the retreat tomorrow.
I also came to the conclusion that while I like writing a poem a day every six months, I much prefer the steady pace of writing a poem a week. So I am determined to keep up the habit in the New Year. I realize that the poems I write daily lack soul.
Have a good week!