Sunday, August 06, 2006

Sunday Scribblings: Who Else Might I Have Been?

This is a topic I think about often. I’m a firm believer in that everything I’ve every done has brought be to this point in my life. From throwing sand in a boy's face in kindergarten, to choosing a prom date, to the four cupcakes I had yesterday (*smile*)—I believe that, as singer Lauryn Hill once crooned, Everything Is Everything.

Conversely, I try not to live my life with regrets. But I do enjoy thinking about the what ifs now and then.

What if my parents had never met?
What if they had met a month earlier than later?
What if my parents had moved to North Carolina instead of Virginia?
What if my parents decided not to have sex that night?

This is the most fascinating part to me. What if another of my dad’s swimmers made to it the shore? Then I wouldn’t be me, but someone almost like me. Would my hair be longer or shorter? Would I have darker skin? Would I be a heavy drinker or have a predilection for addictions? Would I be a tolerant person? Would I love literature as I do now? Or would I be scraping together a living because I decided not to go to college?

Or what if my dad sent along an Y chromosome instead of an X? Then I’d be a boy. What kind of boy would I be?

Hmmm. I imagine I would be 5’ 10”, 160 pounds, wishing I could bulk up but not having the physical make-up for it. I would be tall and relatively fit, but would find something wrong with me. I would be the eldest child, with a younger brother and sister living in the Deep South. After many failed relationships and lots of one-night stands, I would marry a woman I found as I turned 40. We would try to start a family but it would be difficult because of our ages. We’d live in a row house we bough just outside of Washington DC. I’d be happy in my job as an public defender but I think I’d have a longing for something more, such as being an author of mystery novels. I'd call my mother often, because I’d be a mamma’s boy at heart.

I could go on and on—the possibilities are endless.


twitches said...

"From throwing sand in a boy's face in kindergarten, to choosing a prom date, to the four cupcakes I had yesterday (*smile*)"

Um, change "four cupcakes" to "four chai lattes" or "two chocolate doughnuts" and this post could be mine! Seriously!

I really try not to live with regret, either - as I think that if there were something else I should have been in life, I would already be it. Does that make sense? There were many things I thought I wanted to be, but only certain things I had the energy to pursue, which leads me to believe I'm right where I should be.

Now the things that are out of my control, well, that is more interesting...

January said...

Absolutely! There's no guarantee that a different life would be a better one--so I'm happy with the one I have.

jillypoet said...

You guys are so wise. I think about what if and maybe if way too much, and I consider myself a reasonably wise girl. I suppose that's where great fiction comes from, eh? The what ifs, played out on paper.

By the way, I love your blogs! Can I link them from mine?

wendylou who? said...

I loved that you thought about being male...i hadn't even thought of that. I think to my soul I am a girl..But what fun to imagine a whole other sex...GOOD JOB!!

J.B. Rowell said...

I wonder about subtle nudges that turn our lives one way or another. I also wonder about past lives. Has anyone seen that movie Dead Again with Kenneth Brannaugh and Emma Thompson (when they were married). An interesting premise . . .

paris parfait said...

This is such a great take on the prompt! Imagining yourself as a boy! Aren't you glad you're you (and have that adorable little munchkin Ella Rose)? :)

Kamsin said...

I really like this whole other life you imagined for yourself. I'm not sure I have quite that much imagination! I try not to live with regrets and totally agree that each decision has made me who I am today. When I do indulge in what if's it's generally what if I was taller, prettier, more self assertive etc. But I couldn't ever imagine being a boy! Great post!

chiefbiscuit said...

Sounds like a novel is brewing ... or a short story - you have the main character sorted anyway!


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