Sunday, October 25, 2009

My Authentic Self

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my authentic self. By authentic self, I’m referring to the person I am meant to be. I imagine the accounting of one’s life happens to anyone who undergoes a dramatic, life-changing event such as divorce. But I have to say I’ve learned a few things about myself in 2009.

First, I think this is the person I was meant to be. I live my life without regrets. I mean, everything I’ve ever done has brought me to this point, and from my point of view this is a pretty good spot (mother, poet, careerist, community advocate). So the question becomes, “How do I get out of my own way?” Or, how do I stop being the person I don’t want to be?

What I’m focused on now is paring away at the projects, jobs, and tasks that I don’t enjoy, and making space for the people and projects that bring me joy. Life is too damn short not to provide the best life for my kids and me. It’s short and it’s always changing. So I am (re)dedicating myself to my own personal truth. Here’s what I know.

  • I want to live every day as if it’s my last
  • I want my kids to continue to grow up healthy and happy
  • I want to be a loyal and supportive family member, friend, and community member
  • I am a lifelong learner; poetry and literature is my vocation
  • I love food
  • My personal wealth is not based on my bank account, but on the richness in of my life
  • I take pleasure in work; more specifically, I take great pleasure in a job well done
  • I am stronger than I give myself credit for

My authentic self will change over time, but these are my core values. This is what I believe to be true.


LJCohen said...

I think this act of taking stock is vital. It's something I reflect on often, asking myself if I am acting in accordance with my core self and core beliefs.

On another note, it was lovely hearing you read last week.


Collin Kelley said...

Fall is a great time to take stock like this. I've decided 2010 is going to be all about me. I'm taking a break from the organizations I'm involved in and other activities that get in the way of creating my own art. I've been doing for others for years, now it's time to do for me.

January said...

Collin, I think we're on the same page. It's time to recommit to ourselves and make our lives extraordinary.

Jessie Carty said...

I need to sit down and do this myself again at some point. You have a wonderful list of priorities/points about yourself :)

January said...

Lisa, it was nice seeing you, too, last week. Let's try to get together very soon.

January said...

Jessie, I tend to write lists like this close to the end of the year (two months away--yikes!).

bostonerin said...

Love this post, Jan. It is so important to get centered and remember what it is that make us who we are. I've been having similar feelings of needing to take stock and reassert some goals...maybe its the weather?

January said...

Must be the weather. Or maybe it's just time to make room for bigger and better things in our lives.

Thanks E!

Heidi G said...

The seasons that we as New Englanders share allow us a unique opportunity from others living elsewhere across this country in so far as we can begin to 'nest' come Autumn and perservere in the bitter temperatures of Winter yet come out as proud New Englanders all the same, over and over again. Bravo to our changing seasons and the flow of life.

Writer Bug said...

Great post. I think taking stock is so important, and it looks like you have much to be proud of! Good luck in redistributing your time. I'm trying to do the same...

odessa said...

january, you inspire me. thank you :)

January said...

Thanks Odessa. I draw a lot of my energy from the people who read the blog, so I appreciate the kind thoughts.


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