Poem for Poetry Thursday
This is a *painfully* new poem that I may scrap altogether. Constructive feedback welcome. Be gentle.
Brick
I pick up a brick from
the unfinished walkway and think
a house is a house is a house.
But the truth is
I revel in my homeowner sense
of accomplishment—
the flagpole staked on the front lawn,
our manifest destiny flapping in the breeze.
The world is full of wrecked houses
home after home,
with owners who won’t come back
or don’t know how,
astonished that this is not
the life they expected,
gardens of heavy overgrowth,
and the piercing sting of thorns.
At night, ultimately
everything comes back to me
this brick I loved and that one,
my impenetrable heart
surrounded by a chorus of tiger lilies
shaking their heads, Yes! Yes!,
in affirmation.
Every day I make the choice
not to throw a brick through my window.
Every day is a gift I accept
grudgingly.
For more great poems, visit Poetry Thursday.
Brick
I pick up a brick from
the unfinished walkway and think
a house is a house is a house.
But the truth is
I revel in my homeowner sense
of accomplishment—
the flagpole staked on the front lawn,
our manifest destiny flapping in the breeze.
The world is full of wrecked houses
home after home,
with owners who won’t come back
or don’t know how,
astonished that this is not
the life they expected,
gardens of heavy overgrowth,
and the piercing sting of thorns.
At night, ultimately
everything comes back to me
this brick I loved and that one,
my impenetrable heart
surrounded by a chorus of tiger lilies
shaking their heads, Yes! Yes!,
in affirmation.
Every day I make the choice
not to throw a brick through my window.
Every day is a gift I accept
grudgingly.
For more great poems, visit Poetry Thursday.
Comments
Not to throw a brick through my window"
That resonates with me so much right now. Good job!
Just as an aside, the only thing that didn't sit quite right with me were the 'tiger lilies shaking their heads, Yes! Yes! in affirmation.' while I LOVE the affirming tiger lilies, why are they *shaking* their heads when they are affirming. it could be of course that their heads are saying no and the protagonist is reading this as yes. if not could they just be shaking (no mention of heads)?
Hey you must've done something right for me to be so involved with that image :-) Another PT coup!
Yes, I had trouble with that image, so I'll go back and take a second look.
My only comment is that using 'the world' in the second stanza seems too broad. It took me out of the poem. I'm not sure why....and I don't have a suggestion as to what should be there in its place. Sorry.
"Surrounded by a chorus of tiger lilies affirming yes! yes! yes!"
Thanks, everyone, for the feedback.
I wish I shared your reveling in home owning. I definitely don't revel in owning my condo. Ah well Live and learn I guess.