So ...

This is the blog post I never thought I’d have to write. My husband and I are getting a divorce.

First, let me say that I don’t know how I ever made it through NaPoWriMo! That was a sheer miracle, but it does account for my lack of focus now with my writing and poetry projects.

There are no words for the level of pain I feel. Never expected to be a single mother. Never expected to be left at the top of the roller coaster. But now the focus is on the kids. I just want to be the best mom I can be, and give them all the love and support I can muster.

Please know that despite this huge stone in my heart, I am happy. I have too many good things to look forward to than to ever look back. No regrets.

To end on a positive note, here are a few things I’m grateful for:
1. Alex and Ella. My silver linings.
2. My parents, family, and friends. Thanks for your unconditional love.
3. My friends at Babson College
4. You, dear reader. Thanks for stopping by.
5. Warm weather – the Summer o’ Fun is just beginning.
6. Poetry. Poetry. Poetry.
7. Underlife
8. Knowing who I am at the end of the day

We’ll be just fine.


Suzie said…
Love you, Jan!!! I am gearing up for the summer of FUN!
XOXO Suzie
susan said…

We all grow up believing in forever. What we learn is we can survive and thrive if it doesn't happen. I can't tell you how to ease the pain (though I've been there) but I can tell you, you are not alone.

My name isn't Susan :-)
Ananda said…
Sending you and the family love and light as you move through this journey.
Anonymous said…
Lots of love and support coming your way. Ooph. So hard. Life/love isn't a straight line, that's for sure.

(and i love the cover of your book. it was my first glimpse of it; is it everyones? symbolic that you snuck it into this note. the one about silver linings and things to look forward to.)
Odessa said…
*sending hugs and love your way*
you are not alone.
Writer Bug said…
I, too, am sending you lots of hugs and love. I'm sure this next phase of your life will be rich and wonderful, though of course painful and difficult as well. Hopefully I'll see you soon and we can hug in reality, as opposed to virtually. XOXO
Erin Dionne said…
You are such a superwoman rock star. You have been a beacon of grace, poise and generosity through this whole ugly process.

One day at a time, and it will get easier and better.

Goodnight, Mom said…

Cake balls! (That's your something nice!)

You are the strongest person I know.

Love, love, love and more love heading your way.

Catherine said…
I'm so sorry to hear this news - not because it isn't the right thing, I'm sure you wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't - but for lost hopes and dreams. I'm sure you will be a fabulous single mom, and that you have a bright future ahead.
Always and only good thoughts to you and you always know where to find me.

Lisa Cohen said…

Thinking of you.

January said…
Love to you all. Thanks for the support.
Idiot Cook said…
Just saw your status on FB change and popped over here (I'm behind on my blog reading). Thinking of you! Virtual hugs.
Heidi and Holly said…
The tides they are a' changin'... yes, indeed. I KNOW that you and the kids will come through this tunnel with great support and more silver linings to be discovered. Let's rally around Jan now and always. "Strength and Courage" as my family saying goes!
Jennifer said…
Sorry to hear it.
I'll be thinking of you and your family, Jan.

Jill said…
I'm sending you and you kiddos hugs and happy thoughts! There but for the grace of God (and a huge dose of fear) go I...

Good luck, Jan!

And it's about time we had our northeast women poets meeting!
Many silver linings, indeed. & lots of love & support already with you & heading your way in droves. You'll get through this, & I won't be surprised that at the other end you'd be better for it, lighter, wiser and transcendent.
Deb said…
My heart is with you. Sending you love and support. You are not alone. And it' great you know that. xxoo
Alex said…
I am so sorry you're going through this Jan. But I know you and I know how strong you are. I know you'll get through this somehow. Enjoy he summer of fun!!!
Collin Kelley said…
I had kind of suspected this was happening by something you said in another post. I am so sorry to hear it, January, but you will move on. Good things are coming your way. I feel it.
Maya Ganesan said…
Thinking of you. Good luck in the future. (My heart stopped beating after the first paragraph. The news took me completely by surprise.)
Kay Cooke said…
Oh January so sorry. Thinking of you.
Thinking Aloud said…
When I went through my divorce my dear aunt said, "and this too shall pass." In the midst of it I don't think her words were much comfort, but in hind sight I am forever grateful for that morsel of wisdom. It passed!!!!
And it always does.
Unknown said…
My thoughts are with you, Jan! As I've learned, most endings are also beginnings. I wish you the best in this new beginning.

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