This poem temporary relieves pain
due to malaise, boredom, or stress.
This poem is convenient, easy to use
and relieves the following symptoms:
itchy, watery eyes
This poem relieves congestion and restores free breathing
This poem will make you taller, thinner, smarter, and attractive to the opposite sex
This poem causes pleasure, unexplainable laughter, and the occasional hiccup
This poem contains caffeine
If you’ve ever had an allergic reaction to poetry, wait a day and try again.
When using this poem, do not take more than directed—
taking more may cause drowsiness.
Contact a poet …
if you have heart palpitations
if your symptoms don’t improve in 7 minutes
or are accompanied with a fever
if you experience nervousness, dizziness, or sleeplessness
If pregnant or breastfeeding, increase the dosage.
Do not get in your eyes
Do not take on an empty stomach
Do not divide, crush, dissolve or chew the poem
Do not keep out of the reach of children
Do take with a full glass of wine
Store in a cool, dry place
Swallow as whole. Repeat often. Repeat as needed.