Thursday, April 10, 2008

NaPoWriMo 10

(Woo hoo! Double digits!)

In Silence

In the white noise of a dark night,
in a silence I cautiously enter,
my journal reflects the moon’s empty page.
This is a place in which I inhabit. Inside
a whole city faces foreclosure,
the buildings I have abandoned,
whole neighborhoods so sparse, jobless,
vandals have taken all the best words and fixtures.
The chrome faucets, the copper pipes—
gone. The crepe myrtles have been
cut to the quick, their fuchsia buds
now dried and curled along the curb.
The ground is coffin cold. Who do I talk to
about this failed infrastructure?
What laws can I break tonight?
Who is the world comes to a place
that smells like burnt leaves and traffic?
This is a place I visit but do not live.
This is a place in need of repair, of rain,
of an owner who can wield
a pen like a shovel
and dig.


evie said...

that is the best ars poetica i've read in a long time! wow! you tinker with that just a bit and it will be ready to go out. "coffin cold." hell, yeah.

January said...

Thanks Evie. It does need to be tightened up but I think I'll keep it.

Catherine said...

It always astonishes me - the quality of the work you produce writing a poem every day.
You might want to rethink "a place in which I inhabit" though. I think that one slipped by you :)

paris parfait said...

Wonderful poem, January! I've been missing your poems and your blog. xo

January said...

Thanks Tara. I miss visiting your blog, too. Hope to come by soon.

January said...

And thanks Catherine. I wrote the the poem in the wee hours. I believe I originally had "roam" instead on "inhabit." I'll take a look at it when I revise.

Great feedback!

Ananda said...

powerful poetry.

Catherine said...

Jan, "inhabit" is fine - but if you use it, "in which" becomes redundant - it jumped out at me.

I do believe that you can get powerful poetry when you write in the wee hours, and the editing can always be done later.

Thanks for stopping by my blog - no problem that you haven't been in a while, I hadn't posted in two months. It was meant to be about a one week break :)


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