Tuesday, April 22, 2008

NaPoWriMo 22

Intoxication


In the mouth.

On the lips.

Down the throat.

Out the pores, the potholes of the skin.

On the breath, sticky sweet and stale.

On the hands.

At the tips, the roadmaps of the palms
taking him nowhere fast.

The spoiled perfume of beer.

The nicotine brown-stained fingers.

The bar smell of fried food and Jim Bean
attached to every fiber of your clothes.

In his sallow eyes.

In his slurred speech.

In his stumble-step.

In his sleep.

In slumber.

In his snores so loud
they quake the house.

In his rest.

In his peace.

In his chaos.

In his control.

6 comments:

Greyscale Territory said...

Love how you create snippets of intoxication simply by placing images neatly one after the other!

Gemma

geek-betty said...

this reminds me so much of my dad. especially these lines:
"The spoiled perfume of beer.

The nicotine brown-stained fingers.

The bar smell of fried food and Jim Bean
attached to every fiber of your clothes."

pepektheassassin said...

And this one's even better!

m0nkeyboy said...

Very nicely constructed and I like how you lay each detail to build up an image, but I wish there was something a bit more solid at the end.

January said...

I know, the ending's lame. Funny you mention it because when I got to the end, I thought about the poem I should be writing. But it was late and the poem I want to write is complicated (as in I need to do research).

So this one may not make the final cut but it opened up the possibilities for a stronger poem.

Ananda said...

january, this makes me think of an ex-boyfriend who was a quiet drinker. wonderful.

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