Tuesday, April 03, 2007

NaPoWriMo 3


This morning happiness washed through my body
while looking up into a pool of stars
with no one to tell and nothing to write with.

I am stuck inside a car
with a new poem burning my fingers.
This is my own unique brand of crazy.

I talk to an oak in my front yard,
ask it how its survives
all of this early-morning beauty.

It says,
“I am a tree who owns itself.
My joy is the wind through my branches

Love the dark that awaits—
know that you can bloom at anytime.”


Becoming Amethyst said...

Some great lines here January ~ I am particularly enamoured with:

with a new poem burning my fingers.
This is my own unique brand of crazy.


Love the dark that awaits—
know that you can bloom at anytime.

That's a beautiful line and a killer ending (I first wrote 'beautiful lie' ~ I love meaningful mishap :-))

chiefbiscuit said...

I like the voice you have given the tree. We should all listen to trees more often! I like the way you ask the tree how it does early mornings! I'd like to know too.

Leila said...

hey J. the first verse is past tense, while the rest of the poem is present tense. not sure if this is intended. also, some confusion: the morning happiness looks up at the stars, or your body? is it early morning and the stars are still there? are they lingering longer than you expected? is this magical for you? is it the darkness opening up and being light? something here might help tie in with the last stanza.
pls take my comments with the admiration in which they are expressed...

Brian said...

That poem wanting to get out, and no means to write.

I like how you talk to trees, so do I. :)

January said...

Thanks Brian.

Hi Leila. What can I say? I wrote this poem just before midnight. Sometimes I have trouble with tenses. At the end of the month, I will look at this and all of the suggestions to start the revision process.

Thanks for the suggestions. Keep 'em coming!

FatCharlatan said...

"This is my own unique brand of crazy"--what a GREAT line.

Also adore this: "Know that you can bloom at anytime"--something all of us artists should keep close.

Keep going! I did NaNoWriMo, but I think writing 30 poems might be way harder!

Bug said...

I also love the tree's voice and what he has to say. You make this look quite easy!

Left-handed Trees... said...

I suppose the tense could be an issue, but for me I just took it as the movement through a day? I'm partial to trees...so what wisdom they impart is always of interest to me. Beautiful lines at the ending. I'll take them with me today.

Left-handed Trees... said...

Ack, I forgot to say that the idea of happiness washing through the body with "no one to tell and nothing to write with" resonated deeply for me. Sorry for the double-comment!


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