First Draft
They say you will
never amount to anything,
but they are wrong.
I’ve seen you slam the night
against a chain link fence
to make it talk.
I’ve seen you flim-flam
an unsuspecting mark
from her most hidden of secrets.
Maybe you’ll grift me out
of everything I have
but the truth is
there’s a place you go
to build your language
others dare not enter
yet every evening I wait for you here,
like a damsel in distress
cursing your name under my breath.
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8 comments:
I love the second stanza particularly - a little mysterious, but powerful (Just how does one "slam the night/ against a chain-link fance"?)
I love seeing "flim-flam" in a poem.
keep it up... (only 25 more poems to go!) ;-)
cheers,
Kelli
I think I might go crazy by the end of NaPoWriMo!
Thanks Kellie and Catherine.
I know that it's a lot of work for you, but I am soooooo enjoying your daily poems! The language in this piece is incredible, and I adore that line in the fifth stanza: "build your language."
I don't comment often but I am always reading and relishing your words! Thanks for sharing your gift.
Grift (or grifter in general) is such a cool word...
You seem way too level headed to be attracted to the bad boys!!
Wendy, I'm trying to make the connection between a first draft and a bad boy, I guess. I think it's working but I'll take a look at again with fresh eyes after NaPoWriMo.
Cate, thank you. I don't come to your blog as often as I should, but I always enjoy it when I do.
I like this a lot! It seems NaPoWriMo is bringing some great things out of you. Can't wait to see what the rest of April has in store.
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