Friday, April 06, 2007

NaPoWriMo 6

This is the first poem where I've managed to use a Poetry Thursday prompt, broken thread.

You Are Disappearing

What I remember:

Fuchsia crepe myrtle hanging low from its branches.
Pink Cadillac in the driveway. Hot dogs fried
in Crisco with mayonnaise dolloped on the side.
Old peppermint candy from the bottom of your purse.
Picking me up from day care when my father
couldn’t be reached. Bifocals. Your wedding photo.
Your graying hair stuck in the forest of your brush.
Your leaving and your loss.

What remains:

A flower whose name I will forget by the end
of this poem. An empty house. Your hands,
which I have claimed for myself. A motherless
father. A broken thread in need of repair. Being
old enough to remember, but not recalling a thing.


Catherine said...

This is really lovely. Though I'm wondering if the "broken thread" prompt might disappear in revision. I suspect the poem would work equally well without it. I'm finding the prompts are great for getting me going, but in the end I feel it's the "poem a day" part that matters, not the prompt itself.

January said...

Thanks Catherine. It's certainly possible to lose that broken thread. I do like the idea of writing the poems, and then coming back to them after I've gotten some distance from them.

Gypsy Purple said...

Wishing you and your family a happy and blessed Easter

amy said...

I grew up in the South and know these smells! So much of our memory is tied to scents - I like how you showed this in the first half on the poem.

Repeater said...

Nice work- I think the broken thread could stay in if there were earlier references to a unbroken thread (it's such a strong image).

I came over to say good luck with your reading series (I got the note from Lesley U) Wish I was in Boston! Now I'm glad to have read your work. I'll try to keep checking back.

Jone said...

Such strong images. The remembrances and what remains are nice contrasts to each other.
I like that hoefully, by the end of April =, I will will have 30 poems to work on further.


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